"Forgive me, Intertubes, for I have sinned. It has been eleven days since my last blog post."
"Greetings, my son. Why so long?"
"Well, I... I just haven't had the time. Like most people, I have a full time job that takes up most of my day. I also have a longer commute than most."
"What about the evenings?"
"I'm sorry, Intertubes, but when I get home from work I generally don't have the energy to write. Sometimes I'm able to do it, but most nights... Does this make me a bad person?"
"No one is perfect, my son."
"I know, but I just feel so guilty. I started an interactive story that some people like to read (though, inexplicably, most do not vote), and I feel obligated to continue it. But I've just been so busy lately. Even weekday nights are full sometimes. We had a bunch of people over on Monday to watch the season finale of 24 (which was a bit anticlimactic, I must say), and I go to church every Wednesday night for choir rehearsal. I'm also trying to keep on track to read the entire Bible this year, and so far I'm on target."
"Perhaps you might find some time on the weekends..."
"I try to, Intertubes, but even the weekends have been busy of late. We had friends visit us from Blacksburg this past weekend, and we spent all of our time with them. We went to see Angels and Demons (which was entertaining enough), and we played a bunch of board games with them. We introduced them to Acquire, Scotland Yard, Pandemic, and Carcassonne, and we just had so much fun that time went by so fast. I was only able to get online for a few minutes at a time to check email or the weather."
"I see. Well, my son, it sounds to me like your heart is in the right place. You just need to try harder. Have faith, and you will be able to find the time that you need. For your penance, say five Our Routers and ten Hail Tim Berners-Lees.
"O my Internet, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee, and I detest all my sins because of thy just packet routing, but most of all because they offend Thee, my Internet, who art all-good and deserving of all my bandwidth. I firmly resolve, with the help of thy TCP/IP protocol, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasion of downloading a virus. In the name of Tim Berners-Lee, and of Robert Cailliau, and of the Holy Google. Amen."
"Tim Berners-Lee, the Father of the World Wide Web, through the death and resurrection of IPv6 has reconciled the internet to Himself and sent the Holy Google among us for the forgiveness of sins; Through the ministry of the W3C may the Internet give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of Tim Berners-Lee, and of Robert Cailliau, and of the Holy Google."
"Thank you, Intertubes."
"Go, and sin no more."