I Push Buttons

Whether I'm coding, writing, playing games, or pissing people off, it all boils down to pushing buttons.

June 11, 2008

You Can't Be Serious...

Come on, Matt. Enough is enough. I've looked at your profile, and this is your... fourth... your fourth blog. Because what you need is another freaking blog.

Hey, shut up, me.

Sorry about that. That guy can be kind of a jerk. Yes, as you may have noticed, I'm racking up quite the blogroll here. I figured out what my problem is, though. I attempted to separate all of my thoughts into certain types and store them in distinct places, and it turns out that, honestly, I just don't have enough interesting thoughts to keep three separate blogs going. Not only that, but there were things I would like to write that I didn't post because they didn't "fit" in any of my previous blogs, so they just fell by the wayside. This blog will hopefully be the last until I'm able to build my own website. I don't anticipate having the time or inclination to do this in the near future, so I expect this to be my home for quite some time. It should actually be worth it to bookmark this one.

Now, if you'll pardon me for a few moments, I need to take care of some business.

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I'm sorry boys, but there just isn't enough work to keep all of you around. Matt's Personal BlogosphereTM is filing for Chapter 11 and reorganizing. I'm not going to candy-coat this; there's going to be some layoffs. There will probably be some hurt feelings, but at this point I really have no choice.

Truer Than Fiction, you were the first, but you were also the least productive. I have to say I don't feel bad letting you go at all. Take some time off, get your life together, and when you're ready, I'm sure they'll have a job for you writing anonymous comments over at Digg or Slashdot. You'll have to work on obnoxious internet spelling and grammar; an extremely racist and US-centric attitude; and a strong aversion to actual facts, but I think you can do it.

Sheer Determinism, you started out a strong employee, and you hit the ground running. I had high hopes for you. Your contributions were both (+5) interesting and (+5) insightful, but somewhere along the way you just got lazy. I'm afraid we don't have room around here for laziness, so I suggest you take a permanent leave of absence. Once you develop a strong work ethic, look up the kids in the moderate and unbiased news media. Actually finding these media outlets is left as an exercise.

Last, we come to you Matt on Poker. What can I say? You ran pretty solid for about two years. Then congress had to go and stick their noses where they didn't belong, and you languished along with my bankroll. For that I am sorry; you deserve better. You were a good worker, and you were great at developing contacts out there in cyberspace. I've a lot of "pretend friends" that I enjoy talking to because of you. You will be missed. Enjoy your retirement.

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Well, I guess that's that. What's done is done. Welcome to my new home. Hopefully it will be a lot more interesting and active than those past. If not, I can always go to five...

2 Comments:

At June 12, 2008 at 12:19 AM , Blogger Ryan said...

First Post!

I'm famous! Eat your heart out Matt Green.

 
At June 12, 2008 at 9:19 AM , Blogger ccnusbaum said...

Your hottest employee was Truer than Fiction. She had such a good layout.

 

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